I talk to Jesus

I talk to Jesus everyday,
but the conversation always goes one way,
John said this, Paul said that,
I'm not hanging out with you if you're wearing that hat,
I talk to Jesus, everyday,

Last time I called his Dad picked up the phone,
and when I asked he said "Er...Jesus ain't home",
But in the background, I could've swore,
I heard Jesus laughing through his bedroom door,
I try to talk to Jesus everyday,

Now he never seems to call me on the phone,
to answer messages I leave when he's not home,
I say "Hey Jesus, it's Sleepy Ed,
do you fancy meeting up for some fish and bread"
But he never calls me on that telephone,

We spoke on MSN at work each day,
then suddenly JC1000 was a user away,
Now I'm all alone, without a guide,
all I can think about is sin, sex and suicide,
I try to talk to Jesus everyday,

I caught him on his cell the other week,
but he was too God-damn busy to even speak,
He said that he was changing his ideas,
so he was off to the city for a couple of years,
Buying a new suit and shaving off his beard,
'cause it turns out that Martyrdom is not a good career,
I talk to Jesus everyday

So now I face this cold cold world, all alone,
Just cause God put called display on his telephone,
But on the flip side, in this secular world,
at least I can drink, I can gamble and have sex with girls,
I'm glad that my faith done gone away.

All Lyrics by Ed Hicks © 2005, all rights reserved